This is a comment posted in response to another coment posted on another guy's blog. So there is context, but it isn't neccessary...
Ok, I'm offended. Here's why:
"Hey, in eternity, you won't be married or marry, and life is a whiffe of time, a mist, so it won't be long till eternity comes, on the other hand, eternity is a long time, so why not be married while on the earth, and raise a bunch of God loving children to make a ministry and help fill up the lambs book of life like you when you leave this earth? filling up the book. that is what it is all about."
It certainly is all about filling up the book AND testifying to the coming of the kingdom whether people get saved or not (I'm not sure this person would agree). But it is a COP-freaking-OUT to say, "Oh, I do this by having children. I don't actually reach out to hurting, hungry, or heathen people in Jesus' name. I just reach out by bearing kids and raising them up to be privileged, insular, holy people who are successful."
No, it's not a cop-out. It's a sin. And saying that implies that I am in the wrong because I'm choosing singleness right now. There are godly women dripping like sap from pine trees up at Covenant right now and I'm choosing the poverty-stricken world of Islam, for crying out loud. Officially offended I am. Mental image: Yoda at his angriest.
Minus the ears.
Thanks for letting me rant.
Posted by nickles at November 12, 2004 10:43 AMI agree with your (unstated) point that the church has no idea how to deal with people who remain single much past 20 years old. I also agree with your assertion that the person in question is probably copping out.
But I also have a hard time buying a lot of the "I'm okay being single" arguments. The case you've made here seems sound: insularity is rarely a good idea, especially when marriage is used as a pretext for it. Also, you seem to have some pretty concrete goals that being married would greatly complicate, if it wouldn't rule them out entirely.
But most people aren't like that. Most of the time "singleness-is-okay" arguments sound to me a lot like people who would really like to be married desperately trying to convince themselves that it's somehow okay that they aren't. Granted, the church has done a lot to convince them otherwise, but it still strikes me as pretty disingenuous most of the time.
Again, your post didn't strike me this way. I'm just sayin' is all.
Posted by: ryan at November 12, 2004 11:20 AMThe idea of godly women dripping like pine sap makes me smile.
My senses are offended by the idea that eternity is "long" in the same way that life is "short." I mean, yeah, it's probably a little like that - but then again, I think it's probably nothing like that. And I seriously doubt we'll have less-than-marriage in heaven. I can't imagine what more-than-marriage will be like.
Posted by: tuggy at November 12, 2004 12:35 PMBobbo!!!!
Belgium is God's will for your right now....not a women. So don't be hard on yourself!! It's not like God's saying 'Marry such-and-such' and you're like "No,I'm going to be a missionary"....right???
Love
Jo
Right, Joanna.
And you're right on, Ryan. I also get mildly peeved at the arguments single people use to validate being selfish. I know a lot of single folks who have good jobs, great friends, high incomes and flexible schedules, all of whom are unwilling to grapple with the marriage question. It just isn't convenient for them.
More-than-marriage, huh? I can't wait, either. That does make me think about the idea I've heard that singleness is less-than-marriage. What in the world does that mean? Are married people leading fuller lives than unmarried ones? Are their lives even *better* than when they were single, themselves?
Posted by: bob at November 12, 2004 03:02 PMSo what would it take to convince you if someone said 'singleness is great'? 'Cause it is. At least for me. Eating a cinnamon crunch bagel and reading blogs on a Friday night. Absolutely content to stay home and read a bit and clean. I mean, clean up after Bob. And then do yardwork and go to a wedding tomorrow. I'm tellin' ya, it's great, and I'm not talking about just the immediate circumstances and events at hand. I'm talking about it all. 'ALL things.'
Posted by: jeep at November 12, 2004 07:17 PMWell, in a way, I think when you get married your live does become fuller - but not like it wasn't beautifully full before. Like Jesus growing in wisdom and stature and favor with God and men. He wasn't less than perfect to begin with - but he grew. (Not, of course, that you don't grow as a single. Not what I mean at all.)
We're kind of allergic to the idea that marriage is a good thing because we're reacting against the idea that marriage is the only thing.
And then when people have children, they experience another new kind of fulfillment. Not that I can't be fulfilled if I never get married or have a child. But I can "earnestly desire" those good gifts and still be completely content where I am during every part of my life.
Posted by: tuggy at November 13, 2004 11:56 PMI think I'm going to ask Matt what he thinks.
Posted by: bob at November 15, 2004 09:22 AM