This morning I'm sipping spiced chai and waiting for my freshly bleached work shirts to finish their cycle in the dryer. I'm wondering about my blog and about the way I stay in touch with people. Lately, I've been spending half my time and energy at the restaurant, a third of it on developing relationships with coworkers, another third on getting involved in church and my local community, and a final third on raising support to work with Enterprise. If you're running the numbers, you should notice that this isn't really working out for me.
(taking another sip.)
Of course, not sleeping helps squeeze a few more hours into the day.
(sip.)
Anyway you slice it, time management isn't happening right now. One thing I've noticed is that I don't really have time to blog or to stay in touch with friends. All of my communication ends up being "strategic." The only personal correspondance I have with friends and family are occasional voice mail messages and little notes with meaningful quotes or short poems. Forget real conversations.
(sip. sip.)
Not a good thing. It even spills over into my blog. No time for real posts, just gonna throw something out there that more or less encapsulates how I'm doing in the most efficient way possible. Sheesh!
So I had all day off yesterday, and now I'm feeling better. (sip.) Much better. I'm going to try walking by faith a little more. Heck, waht am I saying? I AM TIRED of walking by sight. It's WAY too draining! I have found myself going to Absolut promotional parties (the new absolut peach is ridiculously tasty) with coworkers because they're desperate for real relationships and always ready to talk philosophy. I figured I could make relationships happen by the strength of my own arm. That's sortof working, but only barely. (sip.)
(big sip. more thoughts about coworkers. loooong siiiiiip.)
I've also found myself serving other people so that they will notice what a good friend I am -- teammates, housemates, friends, family, churchmembers. Again, forcing community by the strength of my own arm.
Not that these are bad things to do, mind you. I'm only saying that I think these tasks would be less stressful, less manic, and less fraught with performance anxiety if I trustued the Lord to do all these things and to make my decisions based on prayer and sensitivity to the Spirit. Hmmm. This would mean no longer being afraid that I'll goof up my relationships. I'm not sure I want to let go of that fear, after all these years.
(sip the last of my chai.)
Ok. Time to walk by faith to the dryer and then do some ironing, by faith. Let's take this one step at a time. I need some more tea.
Posted by nickles at April 21, 2005 10:16 AM | TrackBackegads bob! that arithmetic is almost more confusing than my lunchtime problem: what happens when you mix half a can of half-and-half with a can of tomato soup, and then eat half of it!?
I wonder what the other half is like, and who has it.
Posted by: Hackenstar at April 21, 2005 01:54 PMOur conversations aren't real?
Guess I'm drinking coffee by myself.
Posted by: jkrue at April 21, 2005 03:29 PMJkrue, OUR conversations are the exception to the rule. I'm emailing this to you as well, so you get the message. :)
I was thinking more of family members that I haven't talked to in FOREVER and college people with whom I only communicate by voice mail.
And Rachel, let me get this straight. You ended up eating a quarter can of half-and-half mixed with half a can of tomato soup. You left an exactly similar mixture in a public place. Hmmm. I would say it looks something like this:
(((x/2)+(x/2))/2+y)-(((x/2)+(x/2))/2+y)/2
You should definitely have half a mixture left. But since you don't, I sould hypothesize that somebody ate the remaining (((x/2)+(x/2))/2+y)/2
. And that leaves you with zero.
Time to make some more soup.
Posted by: bob at April 22, 2005 01:30 AMCome to Colorado in July and we'll make some time to have chai or something together. But it probably won't be a B + K hangout, or even a posse lunch. I'll be way too busy. Still...a busy beverage-on-the-go with me is better than none at all, right?
Or let's schedule chai + conversation by phone sometime. I'm driving to and from fiance again this weekend...how will that suit you?
Posted by: Krista at April 22, 2005 09:05 AMNo, I really WAS drinking coffee by myself when I was online reading blogs.
AND I was kidding about conversation things. Just being a grade A ass ;-)
Speaking of which these jeans don't make my butt look nice.
Posted by: jkrue at April 22, 2005 12:47 PMTime management has never worked for me. I was up till 3 last night designing a website for class, and didn't wake up till 1 today. I can't do this "less than 8 hours of sleep" thing that I hear some of the cool kids talking about. I think the medication I'm on makes it impossible...
Posted by: Evan Donovan at April 22, 2005 01:22 PMThe cool kids will develop wrinkles faster than the rest of us. Everybody eventually reaches a point where they need less sleep than they used to, but the people who stay up for no good reasons and never sleep are hastening themselves into an early grave.
OR something like that. I hope JKrue doesn't read that. He will denounce me for the 4-hour-per-night freak that I really am...
Posted by: bob at April 23, 2005 02:12 AM