Somewhere along the line, something has opened my eyes to the problem of suffering. I can see it and can feel it on the behalf of others. It's everywhere. The world is broken, hearts are shattered, institutions are corrupt.
This is an important realization, I think. But somehow, I have begun to doubt the Lord's provision and care. I was just reading Psalm 37 today:
"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart."
"...the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he sees that his day is coming."
"I have been young and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread."
"The Lord helps [the righteous] and delivers them; he delivers them from the wicked and saves them, because they take refuge in him."
Suddenly, these declarations seem of dubious worth. They make me think about my understandings of brokenness, justice, righteousness. The justice of this world is too often unjust -- where is this divine justice the Psalmist speaks about? I hunt for it diligently, with patience. And while I hunt, I search my heart. This may take awhile...
Posted by nickles at April 25, 2005 10:16 AM | TrackBackI wrote this to a friend the other day, "Some days I'm so incredibly lonely and God provides. And somedays I'm incredibly lonely and he doesn't."
And that's life, there's a place to question and demand answers, and then there's a place to just believe. Thomas had to see the holes in His hands, he had to see proof of the miracle.
And sometimes we won't see the miracle. Sometimes people die of hunger, sickness, malice, loneliness, and hate...
Take a while, and seek for understanding.
Posted by: jkrue at April 25, 2005 01:39 PMI got hit with that truck in Hawaii, but not during the leaving part. Before that. Like, in October, when the mainland news was all about cold and I was still warm, but worried about all the homeless people who lived on the streets of Hilo and ate fruit from trees.
The Suffering Truck ran over me a couple times after I left Hawaii. Back and forth, back and forth. But I realized what Alison Kraus sings about in her song "The Reason Why." Go listen to it, and pray. God is faithful, and his ways are not our ways.
We have a praise song here at My School: "Your thoughts are higher than mine, your love is deeper than mine, your ways are better than mine..." It's true.
Keep praying and seeking his face. Don't let this burden crush you away from the Word. Let it crush you for the gospel's sake, but not ever away from the word. And ask God for insight into it.
Your sistah,
Krista
Hear, oh ye denizens of Covblogs, and listen, all ye peoples: Bob has good friends. JKrue sounds like Buddha and Krista sounds like Oswald Chambers.
But J and K are way better than those two dead men. And not only because they're still alive.
Yeah. More thoughts are coming...
Posted by: bob at April 27, 2005 10:56 PM