the back burner

quote of the day

What we suffer from today is humility in the wrong place. Modesty has moved from the organ of ambition. Modesty has settled upon the organ of conviction; where it was never meant to be. A man was meant to be doubtful about himself, but undoubting about the truth; this has been exactly reversed. Nowadays the part of a man that a man does assert is exactly the part he ought not to assert -- himself. The part he doubts is exactly the part he ought not to doubt -- the Divine Reason.... The new skeptic is so humble that he doubts if he can even learn.... There is a real humnility typical of our time, but it so happens that it's practically a more poisonous humility than the wildest prostrations of the ascetic.... The old humility made a man doubtful about his efforts, which might make him work harder. But the new humility makes a man doubtful about his aims, which make him stop working altogether.... We are on the road to producing a race of man too mentally modest to believe in the multiplication table.

G.K. Chesterton, Othodoxy (Garden City, NY: Doubleday, 1957), 31-32.

wannasees

My current "to watch" list is actualy quite long, considering how often I see movies. I'll probably not see all or even most of these, but I suppose I ought to post them, seeing as they ARE all in the back burner of Bob:

Garden State
It's De-Lovely
I Love Huckabees
Tom Doud and the Language of Music
Elephant

be advised, bobstar, you have a popo @ 6 o'clock and closing fast

You know, I have a whole team of people working together to correct all of my unsafe driving practices. I don't have to pay them a regular wage, since they're actually employed by the State of Georgia. They drive cars with blue lights, and I caught one of them the other day, just in time for a quick roadside conference. Don't you wish you were so blessed?

I think I am becoming the safest driver in the solar system - nay, the galaxy itself!

quote of the day

There is a difference between the growth of some human beings and that of others: in the one case it is a continuous dying, in the other a continuous resurrection. One of the latter sort comes at length to know at once whether a thing is true the moment it comes before him; one of the former class grows more and more afraid of being taken in, so afraid of it that he takes himself in altogether, and comes at length to believe in nothing but his dinner: to be sure of a thing with him is to have it between his teeth.

George MacDonald

freebies

I just copied this info from our little Chattanooga Library. Interesting information for our community. Unfortunately, they didn't list movie titles, just descriptions. Happily, most of them are obvious. BOB

<<>>

Beginning in April 2004, the library will show a movie every Saturday at 2:30 p.m. in the Main library auditorium. Admission is free. Open to the general public.

* August 28 Lara has spent her childhood interpreting the outside world for her deaf-mute parents. Now her musical gifts are driving a wedge between her world and theirs.
In German with English subtitles. PG-13.

* September 4 A young German soldier (Lew Ayers) faces disillusionment in the horror of World War I.

* September 11 Dorothy (Judy Garland) is swept away to a magical land and wants the Wizard to help her go home.

* September 18 George Vickers (Montgomery Clift) is caught between a promising future with the boss's daughter (Elizabeth Taylor) and a previous commitment to a fellow factory worker (Shelley Winters).

* September 25 John Seinbeck's hapless characters, George (Gary Sinise) and Lennie (John Malkovich), face unexpected problems in their Depression-era wanderings.

for Bekah Tuggy

(anyone who knows BT will know this is not about her. it MIGHT be about some kids who live in her dorm, i suppose, but it is mostly about me. and about orchids, which she brought up herself. so it is for her. enjoy.)

Consider the orchid, oh human one, for it does not fear death.
Like its Creator, the small plant latches onto dead vessels
and shoots forth blossoms.

Consider the orchid, miscreant child, for it proclaims not itself
nor speaks out of turn, yet it is most prized among human florists
for beauty and grace.

Consider the orchid, horrible wanter, for it snatches not
nor grabs but receives without envy the canopy drippings: this
is clearly enough.

withoutapad

Yup. That's what it said on my movie stub. I went out with some of Mike's friends this weekend for dinner and a movie. We saw "Without a Paddle," at the Bijou.

It was mindless.

It was juvenile.

It was... funny.

I loved it! M (one of our party) didn't really think much of it because of the simple script, but I beg to differ. I think the simplicity and the guy-humor really captured something that most cinematic endeavors leave out: FUN. Although it descended into crude-ness at times, it was a worthwhile flick.

Then again, I won't go back to see it and wouldn't buy the movie. Maybe I just approve because it was free for me.

dry

your breath is to me
ten thousand thousand raindrops
on tired orchards.

four three two one

blastoff.

Isn't rain fun? Here are my observations from the weekend:

(1) My friend ML is completely Newtonian. I'm not sure how he feels about this, but I'm sure it makes me feel more secure. I spoke with him on the phone and discovered he hadn't heard Einstein's ponderations about the passage of time and light. He read this blog recently and decided it was nonsense, but nice. He told me that if I kept on as I am going, I might match Lewis Caroll. Apparently I'm not there yet.

(2) Chattanooga is too big for its britches. I went around to several offices yesterday, noticing that we have lots of people thinking and working on urban development and community engineering. Can our infrastructure support this much belly-button gazing? And do we have the industry? And can several handfuls of executives really accomplish any worthwhile community change all cooped up in their air-conditioned offices? At times, I wonder whether we aren't shooting ourselves in the foot. It would be interesting to gather more data on our city before deciding whether my wonderings match reality. But I'll never know unless I write a stunning grant proposal for this study and get it all paid for...

(3) NH thinks Nick Barker is a genius. We spoke of it Sunday night and he added Christopher Smart to my reading list. WHICH currently consists of:

Annie Dillard
Anne Lamott
Chris Smart
Banana Yoshimoto
Kathleen Norris
Deitrich Bonhoeffer (spelling?)
Francois Truffaut
Arthur Goldschmidt, Jr.
Moliere
Clyde Kilby
Gustave Flaubert

Any ideas on who to add to or strike from the list?

(4) Checking an empty post office box is even more disappointing than checking an empty Covenant College mailbox. It drives one to making random blog posts.

complaint for the 19th of august

Why is it that we stick so much to “the man?” It’s almost ironic. We stick certain things to the man because we enjoy voicing our disgruntledness. And I suppose it gives us some sort of empowerment buzz. But aren’t our disgruntled voices attributing too much to this proverbial man? Hence the inevitable irony. Folks in firm opposition to the system end up only adding to its mystique, like Republicans who publish books against Bill Clinton.

I would guess this tirade is coming from my French student, who isn’t really digging deep into this great language. I shouldn’t really expect someone who’s 15 to act like I *sometimes* did in college, but all the same, I’ve definitely taken my student as an example and extrapolated in my mind to form new theories about society and “the man.” I hereby posit that our society has begun to assume that learning simply happens: a rigid, constructivist imposition by the man himself upon passive and unsuspecting citizens. Suddenly, THE MAN is responsible for LEARNING, a substantive, organic, and participatory event that I thought happened outside of the pervasive system.

Far from making opportunities to learn available to a broader range of our population, something about free public education (or somethign about the educators) has instead dumbed down or debased our students until they simply expect learning to happen to them. And then we hear the complaints of students and the parents who love them concerning the school system, the teachers, the curriculum, the government, in short, the man. Nevermind the fact that these underperforming students might be the primary culprits for, well, underperformance. It must be the man! Forgive me if I can’t explain the logic of the thing. I really don’t get it.

...forget the fact that my student is homeschooled. Shoot! Somebody rescue my theory!!

American in Marseilles

ok, several americans. this was my team this summer. i'll let you figure out who's who. we were on a 4-day trip to Marseilles at the time. i would be interested to know who's been spreading these vicious rumors about the French people, because I just didn't experience very many of them as truth.

but this isn't a post about the french. It's a post about my team. As you can see. The end.

Assignment for Class #1

...so I began teaching French today: one student during my 30 minute lunch hour, ideally three times per week. I really like the kid. We talked about his background with language learning, what he already knew in French., why he chose French, and what he wanted form it. We decided that at the semester's end, he would like to be able to read a book in French and listen intelligently to a French band he enjoys. Those are actually very ambitious goals for a beginner, but I like the kid. He's 15 and will probably do quite well. And I have some goals of myself for him.

Anyway, I gave him the following list of assignments, due Thursday. Ask me within two weeks and I'll tell you if he's going to reach his goals. Do you think I gave him too much to do? We shall see, on Thursday.

----

· Listen to no less than 10 consecutive minutes of Du Tac Au Tac, French conversation tape. In English, make a list of your observations about the French language. After making your list, think about these things:
o Tone of voice
o How would you use mouth/teeth/tongue/lips to sound French?
o Possible topics of conversation
o How would you picture the speakers? Where are they in each
conversation?

· Listen again to the same 10 minutes. Add to your list of observations.

· In the first few pages of the dictionary, read the author’s preface, the abbreviations list, and the list of phonetic transcription symbols. Skim through the dictionary and find examples of some symbols. Remember your questions so we can talk about them during the next class.

· Think about 25 of the MOST common words you use in English. Using the French Dictionary, make a list of these English words and their French translations. Save this list and bring me a copy of it.

· After making your first vocabulary list, write answers to these questions:
o Which words did you have trouble finding? Why do you think this was?
o Did anything surprise you about your list?
o Think of the words you wrote – how would you classify them?

· Was this assignment too easy? How much time did it take you?
· What did you like or dislike about this assignment?

putting people in jars

JL doesn't like to be put in a box. Neither do I, for that matter, but I saw this great Gary Larson cartoon in which a big bug was showing another bug the humans he had caught and put in jars. Collector bug was advocating placing two together and shaking them up to see if they would fight. THIS IS AWFUL...

...but also funny and something I've always wanted to do. Here, for all the world to see, is a list of folks I would love to be put into a jar with. Or at least people combinations that I would like to shake together in a big glass jar. Not to see if they would fight, but just because anything might happen:

Jar #1: Hope Davis, Brian Fikkert, OPEC, Daphne Haddad, Ben Borger and Alan Greenspan

Jar #2: Bjork, Natalie Lodico, David Letterman, Smita Donthamsetty, Robin Williams, Christina Jones, Gene Wilder and Eddie Murphey

Jar #3: Jonathan Krueger, Jerry Falwell, Tim Keller, Tori Amos, Pope John Paul II, Katie Mesh, Evan Donovan and Amy Deringer

...did you like the commas in a series? Notice they don't have a comma before AND. G'night.

quote of the day

"I never liked jazz because jazz music doesn't resolve. But I was outside the Bagdad Theater in Portland one night when I saw a man playing the saxophone. I stood there for fifteen minutes, and he never opened his eyes.

"After that I liked jazz music.

"Sometimes you have to watch somebody love something before you can love it yourself. It is as if they are showing you the way.

"I used to not like God because God didn't resolve. But that was before any of this happened."

- Donald Miller: Blue Like Jazz, ix

email to my brother

*fascinating email to brother in mintina (secret code for where he really is)*

Dear Jeff,

Thanks for ranting to me. :) I'm still getting turned around, but Email response time (ERT) is slimming down! Hurrah! Only three days since you sent this one. Right now, I'm boiling sweet potatoes so I can mash 'em and make enough good fiber and vitamins for the next week. WEll, along with other stuff. I'm thinking very ehalthy thoughts right now cuz I just got back from moving furniture. Let me explain: the girl who owned the furniture felt bad so she offered to cook dinner. Turned out she was cooking Domino's and they ahd a $5 pizza special. I ate about 9 pieces... and had pie and coffee afterwards. So, HERE'S TO HEALTH!

Why did I need to know that? -- you ask me.

Becuase you like sweet potatoes. -- i tell you.

But I don't. I mean, not especially. -- you protest.

Oh but you do. Of course you do. EAT THEM! -- I insist.

No, no, nonononoNONONONO! You start running.

but I pursue!

and you run faster, thinking the air force will save you!

but you are deluded!

You are doomed!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Ok, ok, ok, the potatoes are boiling over. HAng on. I'm back. It's handy to have a comptar in the kitchtar. How are you? Forget all that stuff I just said. Somebody else must have been using my fingers. I'm really enjoying working, but I'm ready to start working AWAY FROM COVENANT! The good news is I have another week to find a job, since Covenant has extended Conference work for me for another week. yipee. The bad news is that it's that much harder to adjust to being a non-student again. Becuase I'm around the school so much, cleaning.

I think I'll probably work with some ministry in town for a semester. Domestic missions and development organizations have the cool perk of PAYING their employees... a little factoid I picked up recently. *chuckling*

Have you heard Nickel Creek's "This Side?" I'm listening to it right now. Man, it's good. I don't know if it's your style, though. You should borrow it from somebody. Maybe I'll burn you a copy? *shifts eyes nervously as if in ethical dilemma* Plus, it's about time to send you something alittle odd.

Ok, I'm going to tend to my potatoes. More from me later. Peace out, night-working bro.
BOB

meteorology

Today the rain was late. It hung and hung there in the clouds until I was finally sure that my prediction was wrong. I was driving home at that point, rushing back to grab a shower and call a friend in need. The sun was blazing away as I drove up to the house. I swept into the house with arms full of stuff and head full of thoughts about the weather and the aforementioned friends.

The ensuing sequence of events fascinates me:

I traipse into the kitchen hollering greetings to Dave and to Mike while dumping breakfast dishes from my car into a waiting sink.
I shed my bag, spilling its contents somewhere near the dining table.
Bedroom next, I grab in one smooth motion both cell phone and address cards.
Pace quickening to the bathroom, dialing while pulling off clothes.
Wonderful talk with AG while sitting on the can, spirits rising.
Crank cold water from the shower head!
Leap in!
*gasp*
WHOOP! (this is a noise humans make when they are happy.)
*sigh*
I watch as muddy, cobwebby, and gray water circles around my toes and takes with it down the drain all the stress of my frantic tempo. Life slows down.

It rained shortly thereafter. Maybe it wasn't really late. It's better that it came post-shower, cuz this way I can take responsibility. Maybe I inspired the rain? Who knows? Perhaps in the end a typhoon has been averted somewhere in East Asia!

Oh, and by the way, I did some backlogging of entries in case you're a stalker and want to see them. They're poems written this summer while on the road or in planes. I miss the idea of keeping a warm spot in my community for warm people to drop themselves into and have warm chats. Nobody does that in St. Elmo! I think I should have done that more in college. I mostly just benefitted from other people's warm places.

for friends of bob

Dear everybody,

I love you. Here is a quick update on Boblife. I just finished working my first day back on the job at Covenant. I am thrilled to be back at dear old Covenant College with people like Pauline Snyder, Mike Hardie, and Natalie Lodico! When the wild winds of maturity are blowing, it is a comfort to have friends around who have seen the less mature sides and still enjoy me. My tasklist includes tracking down another job for the end of conference season, writing LOTS of letters, setting up house again, and reconnecting with college friends. At the same time, I'm developing a new theory about homesickness: it is inevitable and it sets in about 12 hours after leaving one or more of your family members.

Ok, enough theories. Now for the future -- when I left Belgium, I was ready to accept the missionary team's invitation to return for a 2 year apprenticeship. This apprenticeship will involve a lot of interaction with Turkish people in "My New City" and with college-age folks of all nationalities. After that? Perhaps missions forever. Perhaps seminary. Perhaps development studies.

As I said, I WAS ready to accept their invitation. I told them so when I was there. And then I returned to the States, where many very special, very close, very godly individuals had some hefty qualms about this plan -- not MOST, but MANY. Returning to my country meant returning to these reservations and questions, and I began to understand something about this decision. I want it (the decision) to be one of those choices that I can look back on and say: "yes. it is clear that this was God's leading. how could i have done otherwise?" To that end, I am setting aside the next month (August 8th -- September 8th) for prayer and pondering. In that time, I will do zero support-raising, except to invite potential supporters to pray with me for the future. I fully expect God will amaze all of us with his faithfulness and creativity in calling broken people to work in his kingdom. Please pray with us! Pray on your own, pray with me on the phone, pray on paper and pin it to the wall or send it to me - anything at all, so long as you are seeking the Lord. Thank you for your friendship and for your prayers.

For those of you who expressed those aforementioned doubts about this apprenticeship, please know that I am absolutely floored by your diligence to care for me and love me through your doubts. They are precious to me, and so are you.

Here's my brand new contact information:
Bob Nickles -- 423/432-1412
PO Box 2095
Chattanooga, TN
37409

Did you ever wonder how it would be for the next wave of missionaries going to tell people about the abundant life? Did you ever think it would be like this? Did you ever think you would be such an important part? Who knows what God will do next? There's something beautiful and frustrating about asking these questions in faith.

Lamentations 3:21fv -- "But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: the steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 'The LORD is my portion,' syays my soul, 'therefore I will hope in him.' The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.

John 10:7fv -- "So Jesus said again to them, 'Truly, truly, I say unto you, I am the door of the sheep. All who came before me were theives and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved and will go in and out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.'"

Call me sometime. I have free nights after 7pm and free Sprint-to-Sprint calls.

Praying for you,
Bob

PS -- a special shout out to Steve, Russ, and Brian at Chalmers! I saw some of you from a distance today and also saw just about everybody else who's teaching at the Institute. I'm rearranging my B.E.S.T. schedule so I can see you at lunchtime! Praying for you as you teach and work! One of these days we have lots to talk about!

PPS -- another quick note, this time to the folks in Chattanooga whom I haven't yet seen: find me. I want to see you. I have to work. You see my dilemma? Know that I am hunting you down, if slowly.

The twisted scrubland of our anxious heart

The twisted scrubland of our anxious heart
Bears testimony to low water tables,
Index of a yearlong drought.

Between bright meadows, shady forests,
Come times of fasting and leanness
When the soul’s mouth is dry.

What do we do, what do we ever do
When these familiar times arrive
And we suffer a sudden forgetting?

Take words with you.
Perhaps they will buy
Us water.
Go.

before the sun

Reading between lines carved upon dull, grey earth
I see the pattern of planting and reaping,
sustaining cycles, compulsion to labor and to live,
to wrest dominion from the tight clutches of chaos.

Here there are many lives entwined in oral history
I hear reverberations of long-told tales
having sunk deeply into the ground along with sweat,
blood, progenitors long-buried, and livestock offal.

From far off – say, the interstate or airway lanes –
the wakening urban-dweller, traveling, sees nothing
but muted textures: landscape, trees, and hay awaiting dawn,
his soul more tuned to crosswalk signals than to farms.

But I have that old mythic eye passed to me by my father –
fading of course, yet oft perceiving still
the rolling, rhythmic pact twixt men and earth.
A misty and archaic way of life recedes before the morn.