the back burner

My Next Question

OK, so I always thought that folks like Dr. Carter Heyward were operating with inconsistent conceptual frameworks, that they would face severe crises of faith when faced with suffering and contradiction. But after reading her article, getting angry, then getting over it, I wonder if she isn't being more consistent with her beliefs than I am with mine (which are different, I should add). The wonderful things about people like Carter is that they show me so clearly that salvation really, really is all by God's grace. In many ways, she seems more concerned about justice, more compassionate, and more honest than I am... but if I was forced, I don't think I could say that she's one of God's children. Yikes.

My question is a simple one. What does she have to say that the church should hear? (Not what does she have right, but what should we hear her saying... or should we just never, ever listen to people like this?)

Open Conversation

Having trouble getting my browser to show me the newest Covblogs updates -- is this my problem or Covblogs'?

Anyway, props go out to Colorado Mountain Passes for making me think about history. What do you see in your rearview mirror?

So I Can Either Drive South and See It On the 8th or Wait LIKE FOREVER and See It On The 21st...

Release Dates:

U.S. Release: December 9, 2005

Countdown to December 9th, 2005: 42 days to go!

International Release Schedule

8 December 2005

-Austria
-Germany
-Portugal
-Switzerland (German speaking region)
-UK

9 December 2005

-USA
-Venezuela

15 December 2005

-Czech Republic

21 December 2005

-Belgium
-France
-Italy
-Netherlands
-Spain
-Sweden
-Switzerland (French speaking region)

22 December 2005

-Hungary
-Israel
-Singapore

23 December 2005

-Estonia
-Finland
-Latvia
-Switzerland (Italian speaking region)

25 December 2005

-Brazil
-Denmark

26 December 2005

-Australia
-Iceland
-Norway

5 January 2006

-Argentina

6 January 2006

-Poland

8 January 2006

-Philippines

26 January 2006

-Hong Kong

4 March 2006

-Japan

boring old reflection

OK, I need to grab a few spare moments and think about something "out loud." Yesterday Teammate #2 and I drove back to Atlanta form St. Louis. On the way, we managed to stop in Chattanooga for about an hour to eat dinner. I had a good talk with Mike about sin and whatnot, which primed me for another good talk with Teammate after dinner, on the way home.

So I'm wondering about relationships, of course. (That seems to be what I'm always thinking about...) I find myself being afraid of being alone. Being alone makes me anxious on some deep level. My hunch is that I draw too deep a sense of worth from the people around me. When I'm with others, I'm strong and confident. When I'm alone (or maybe with a certain kind of introvert), I don't get that sense of worth. I doubt, struggle, etc.

While chatting with John about this stuff, I begin to realize that wanting people-centered approval has made me downplay the importance of relational discrimination in my life. I don't discriminate! I somehow feel as if having a casual conversation with a passing stranger automatically obligates me to pursue a serious friendship with them. End result: when I could be spending more intentional, face-to-face time facing insecurities in the context of a small circle of close friends, I choose instead to spin my wheels trying to keep up with a vast sea of surface relationships. All the sin and doubt and insecurity builds up and boils over when I'm all by myself.

SO... what to do? My situation is soon changing to include more time alone, less access to close friends, and more cross-cultural stress. Er, um, well. Shoot. I mean, discriminating between relationship time with one person or another so that I can cultivate solid relationships is only a surface solution. It treats the symptoms, but the issue is finding worth in Christ.

Bill just informed me that despite its name, the porkbutt does not come from the rear of the hog, but from the shoulder. Sometimes, it takes a little bbq terminology quiz to draw a person back form the allure of the navel.

garrulous

i'm back. i hit the ground running, so i'm a little grumpy. feeling like an old man. won't blog much this week, i think. two things for you to know:

* important things are happening in Malaysia.

* my cell phone is out of commission. call me at home or email.

poor neglected blog...

I've been Xanga blogging to the exclusion of my dear old back burner, lately. What to blog about? So I'm in St. Louis. The Cardinals have refused to lay down and admit defeat at the hands of the Houston Astros. Wait, wait... yes, they just made another infielding error.

Oh, and catcher can't catch...

Ok. Confession: I'm going against several generations of baseball on my mother's side. But Houston just beat the Braves, so I'd like to see them go all the way. Heck, I'd just like to see them get to the Series.

Apartheid in Israel?

Wow. I just stumbled across a really interesting site that draws an uncomfortable parallel between apartheid in South Africa and treatment of Palestinians in Israel. What?! Apartheid was horrid! Is this guy for real? I'm still digesting the article, but here's a quote from it, just to whet your appetite:

"The implementation of an apartheid regime in Palestine/Israel is wholly unacceptable. Where are the voices in the international community that did not rest until the South African government gave the indigenous people justice? Where are the celebrities, the governments of the world, the international media that, inspired by the indigenous anti-apartheid movement, made the ruling South African regime accountable to international law? Is our global consciousness selective? The Palestinian people, like black South Africans, will continue to live under a state of occupation, as opposed to a state of autonomy, until these institutions find their voices again."

airports and bumpers

I took two friends to the airport this morning -- they had to call me at 5:25 am because I was late. When the phone rang, I woke up on a bed with no sheets, clutching my alarm clock. Whoops.

It was one of those early flight mornings that reminds me of every other early morning trip to the airport I've ever had -- those same gray shapes slowly sucking color from a waking sky, those same conversations lit by brake lights and street lamps, the quick stopping, uloading, hugging. The only difference was that I'm usually not the one driving away with nobody in my car. I think they're right about it being harder to say goodbye and stay than to say goodbye and go.

And now one of my favorite travelling songs:
"Money's just something you throw
Off the back of a train
Got a handful of lightening
A hat full of rain
And I know that I said
I'd never do it again
And I love you pretty baby
but I always take the long way home..."
(Norah Jones, Feels Like Home)

And now the bumper sticker I saw on the way back to the house:

"ORDAIN CATHOLIC WOMEN
or stop baptizing them!"

peer pressure...

Your Inner Child Is Happy

You see life as simple, and simple is a very good thing. You're cheerful and upbeat, taking everything as it comes. And you decide not to worry, even when things look bad. You figure there's just so many great things to look forward to.

quote of the day

Just a tidbit I picked up from this fall's commencement address at Wheaton College. The address was given by Joni Earekson Tada, and recorded in Wheaton, Autumn 2005.

"When I was in Ghana, delivering wheelchairs and Bibles not long ago, I met a disabled man who said, 'Joni, welcome to our country, where God is so much bigger. He is bigger here, Joni, because we need him more.' God always seems bigger to those who need Him most. And to be intimate with the Savior is to wake up in the morning, needing Him desperately.

"Maybe the really disabled people are those who wake up in the morning; and when their alarm clock goes off, they scarf down breakfast, take a quick shower, and head out the door on automatic cruise control, not needing God so desperately.

"And if you're the type who goes out the front door, to pursue the self-fulfillment and self-promotion, and the self-ambition and the vain conceit, please know that God opposes you. But He gives grace, upon grace, upon grace, to the humble. And who are the humble? Simply, people who are often decimated by their own weaknesses."

for my travelling friends

Immunization recommendations from mdhealth.com seem pretty reliable, but Oman, Senegal, Bangladesh, and Uzbekistan don't look as dangerous as I thought they would. Hmm.

And it looks like the only thing you need to visit the EU is a flu shot, if it's flu season. So go see j.krue next summer and then come see me!

Everything is Getting Faster

It's true. Support-raising, language learning, friendships, my typing skills, falling, climbing back up -- everything seems to be humming along at high velocities. Acceleration is positive, which means it's getting faster.

I feel like I'm on Wonka's boat in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory -- for you cinephiles, it's probably more like the boat in the old movie than the new one, more psychadelic, less roller-coaster-y.

And Gene Wilder won't stop singing.

Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a-blowing? Heck, I don't know. But we are clipping along at quite a pace. I don't care about where I'm taken so much as I do about the more immediate dangers. How deep is this water? What if I fall out? Why aren't there any seatbelts or life preservers?!

I guess I'm just a little intimidated by my lack of control. ("No, no, let's go back to the slow stuff. I'm really good at feeling like I'm in control when we're going slowly!") But how am I going to relax enough to reflect? to pray? to stretch? to rest? There's room on this boat to lie down, but I don't think I can...